Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 1 – Not being as popular as 1000 Awesome Things

Thanks to Me who suggested this. Not being as popular as them allows you to take breaks and vacations and doesn’t make you a slave to a blog. You can say anything you want and you can quit writing it, anytime you’d want. . .So quit complaining you.

Thanks for my suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, I’ll better just keep ‘em to myself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 2 – Prostitutes

Thanks to all the people who suggested this. Although I get the joke–it’s pretty obvious why they suck, or more directly, how they suck. Still, I find it too tacky to be featured, so stop suggesting it.

To all the people, thanks for your suggestion, but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 3 – Autofellatioers

Thanks to AmoebaClown who suggested this, but it’s too…racy and obvious and no one on earth could possibly do it.

AmoebaClown, thanks for your suggestion, but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 4 – Screwing up with the spacetime continuum

Thanks to FichardReynman, who suggested this but if it weren’t for that, then nobody would have killed Lincoln… and we all know how that turned out…

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 5 – Being this close to the end of the Things That Won’t Make It To The Blog List

That would mean I’m almost returning from my vacations, but since this list is not part of the official 1000 Things that Suck list, I can’t make any direct reference to it.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 6 – Mistaking Picasso’s Blue Period with it’s Pink Period (hahaha oh you ignorant bastard)

Thanks to Paloma, who suggested this, but oh my god who could ever be guilty of such sin?! No, no, that’s impossible. I’m sorry but I won’t admit it!

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 7 – Exploding suppositories

Thanks to AddictOfThem, who suggested this, but these are too painful to even consider.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 8 – Pussycat dolls

Thanks to ADworkinFan, who suggested this, but are you freakin’ kidding me? Forget it! AHAHAHAHA.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 9 – Elvis lookalikes

Thanks to Hawken Stephing, who suggested this, but if it weren’t for them, who would feed all those conspiracy theories about him being alive? Paranoids and losers? I don’t think so.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 10 – Narcolep

Thank

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 11 – Typos

Thanks to Letterman, who suggested this. We’re all jumans, so screw it.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yurself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 12 – The Plague

Thanks to PearMongering, who suggested this.  The reason why the Plague will not Suck (or didn’t) is that thanks to it, people were from then on able to find land where to live and farm and work. Earth needs its clean up systems.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 13 – Waking up one day and finding out that you’re Lincoln and then hearing “Sic Semper Tyrannis!” behind you

Thanks to Abraham Lincoln who suggested this (via John Edward).  Not too many people could relate to this, so…sorry Abe.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 14 – The number 1729

Thanks to Mathdull who suggested this, 1729 is actually a pretty interesting number. It’s the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes in two different ways, and if you can’t appreciate that, then I guess you suck.

Thanks for your suggestion Mathdull,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.

Thing that won’t make it to the blog No. 15 – Nelson Mandela

Thanks to every apartheid supporter who suggested this, but Nelson Mandela is a great man and he probably accomplished more than you’ll ever do.

Thanks for your suggestion,  but if they’re gonna be of that kind, better just keep ‘em to yourself.