the bottom 1000

• & -1000 – Copying a good concept into a poorly executed idea
• & -999 – Your girlfriend says, “We can’t, I have my period”
• & -998 – Your girlfriend says, “I’m Late”
• & -997 – Endangered Species
• & -996 – Male Thongs
• & -995 – Vacuum Cleaners
• & -994 – Poop Fetishes
• & -993 – Utilizar español en un blog escrito en inglés
• & -992 – Crow’s Feet
• & -991 – Going to the Dentist
• & -990 – Diet Products
• & -989 – Fast food
• & -988 – Power outages
• & -987 – Realizing you left the keys after you’ve just closed the door
• & -986 – Calling Costumer Service/Tech Support
• & -985 – Getting caught while at it
• & -984 – Getting spoke to with bad breath (directly in the face)
• & -983 – Mammals
• & -982 – Rush hour traffic
• & -981 – Getting an accidental bad haircut
• & -980 – Hairy Backs
• & -979 – Having your pet neutered
• & -978 – Tanning
• & -977 – Breast pumps
• & -976 – Dropping something in the toilet
• & -975 – Suction cups
• & -974 – Rumors
• & -973 – Watching people cut in line ahead of you
• & -972 – Taking your car to the mechanic
• & -971 – Headaches
• & -970 – Braces
• & -969 – People who use stereos way too loud
• & -968 – Alarms howling from 2 AM to 3 AM to 4 AM to 5 AM…
• & -967 – Being scared by a dog right when you walk close to a fence
• & -966 – Diving into a swimming pool and finding out it’s warm
• & -965 – Dracula
• & -964 – Not getting enough sleep
• & -963 – Missing deadlines
• & -962 – Lame Fireworks
• & -961 – Airplane toilets
• & -960 – Working on weekends
• & -959 – Discovering the damage your pets have made to the furniture over the years
• & -958 – Finding out you’re out of toilet paper, after…
• & -957 – Paycheck delays
• & -956 – Counting the years this list is gonna take to finish
• & -955 – Those movies with “(Blank) Movie” titles
• & -954 – Female mosquitoes
• & -953 – Roomba
• & -952 – Returning from vacation trips
• & -951 – Picking up your dog’s crap
• & -950 – The ring of a mobile phone at the theater
• & -949 – That lovely talk about sex with your parents
• & -948 – Dishwashing
• & -947 – Massive Speed Bumps
• & -946 – When there’s a loud party nearby and you just want to sleep
• & -945 – When someone sneezes and it sprays…
• & -944 – Going to the bank
• & -943 – Donut spare tires
• & -942 – Breaking a key inside the lock
• & -941 – Clogged drains
• & -940 – When people start thinking about their order AFTER it’s their turn in line
• & -939 – Smelling a fart (someone else’s)
• & -938 – When Google says “Your search – [whatever] – did not match any documents.”
• & -937 – Wet floors in bathrooms (specially in public ones)
• & -936 – When a light bulb burns out
• & -935 – When there’s a meteor shower and the sky is cloudy
• & -934 – Leeches
• & -933 – Shaving with cold water
• & -932 – Sunday’s newspaper
• & -931 – Weather forecasts that miss
• & -930 – When an awful song gets stuck in your head
• & -929 – Waking up in a pool of drool
• & -928 – A female cat in heat
• & -927 – When a glass gets broken
• & -926 – Paper jams in printers (or Fax machines)
• & -925 – Stale potato chips
• & -924 – Not having anything to snack in the middle of the night
• & -923 – A slow computer
• & -922 – Ticks
• & -921 – Ran out batteries
• & -920 – Handshaking a sweaty palm
• & -919 – Losing a button (in shirt, pants, et cetera)
• & -918 – Hands stained with motor oil
• & -917 – Ripping through paper with a pen (or a pencil)
• & -916 – Fishnets for men
• & -915 – Log Nuts
• & -914 – Badly made tattoos
• & -913 – Jaywalkers
• & -912 – A mosquito buzzing in the middle of the night
• & -911 – Kanye West
• & -910 – Being unable to connect to the Internet
• & -909 – Everybody (when using a drink straw)
• & -908 – The hair in the food plate
• & -907 – The itch in the back
• & -906 – Sweat stains
• & -905 – Car horn abusers
• & -904 – Some bats
• & -903 – Crazy glue
• & -902 – Updating your CV (résumé)
• & -901 – Finding money after washing  your clothes
• & -900 – Sirens
• & -899 – Scratched music CDs
• & -898 – When something random and awful happens only to you
• & -897 – Movies based on video games/Video games based on movies
• & -896 – People who don’t pick their dog’s crap
• & -895 – Love handles
• & -894 – Packaged drinks
• & -893 – Bloggers who can’t commit to a blog posting schedule